Some Emails come at just the right time...

My sister Amber sent me an E-Mail: 29 lines to make you smile... I love these ones:

TWENTY NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
3..Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4..I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6..You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7..Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8..Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
10...Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11..NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13..The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14..Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
17..Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
20..A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21..A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
29..I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

Thanks for the smile Am, I needed it :)