The Ultimate 'Kids Say the Funniest Things'

So I promised I wouldn't say which kid it was, but I'll give you a hint... he's 3, looks just like Curious George, and is the funniest preschooler I have ever met. Anyway, his mom and I are playing MarioKart on the Wii tonight and out of nowhere he busts out with 'Mom, what the hell are you doing?' HAHAHAHAHA!!!! It was seriously so hard not to laugh hysterically 1) I know it's not good for him to think that word is funny, but DAMN and 2) curling into a ball to avoid peeing on myself would have caused me to crash and loose... which I was not willing to do. But I don't care who you are, that there is funny :)

Reason #10,378...

that I am a complete dumb ass...

So I got a new phone this weekend and needed some new pictures for my screen savers. I sent out a mass text message telling everyone that the first to send me a picture would have the honors. The first picture I receive is this one of baby Kole...



So I send Annie a text saying... Hey those are my boobs... do you happen to have one with my face in it? She replies with a what? and thinking I mistyped something, I send the message again and we exchange several text messages about me not having any pictures with the kids because I'm always the one with the camera.

Fast forward about 2 hours...
I go looking back through my phone for a different picture mail and spot my rather embarrassing mistake. The picture of Kole was from Amber. No wonder Annie had no idea what the hell I was talking about! I can just see her face after getting a random text message saying 'hey those are my boobs...' I'm sure she was a little concerned about exactly what type of pictures I was exchanging... but I swear, honest mistake ;)

Inspirational Posters...

Because some times you just have to laugh at other people :)

This one is my favorite:

Way to go PAK (Punk ass Kobe)


This is just wrong... I hope he has good bladder control.


DOH!


I would rather puke on the floor... I have never been drunk enough to puke in a public bathroom. Well you know... other than that one time ;)


Hmm... think he got off with a warning?


Hmm... this is where the gene pool could use some chlorine

Some Emails come at just the right time...

My sister Amber sent me an E-Mail: 29 lines to make you smile... I love these ones:

TWENTY NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
3..Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4..I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6..You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7..Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8..Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
10...Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11..NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13..The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14..Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
17..Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
20..A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21..A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
29..I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

Thanks for the smile Am, I needed it :)