1 Month

It's hard to believe it's been a month since I quit smoking. There are days now that it doesn't even cross my mind. Honestly, I didn't think I would get this far. Crazy.

5 Days & a celebration movie

So it has officially been 5 days since I quit smoking. Wow, that's a long time. Cravings come and go, some days much worse than others. Today I had a blissful daydream at Wal-mart of beating the living crap out of some girl standing by the doors just so I could take the last hit of hers. Luckily for her I was distracted by the guy walking around the parking lot with a sledge hammer (WTF???). Needless to say I kept a weary eye on him as I headed inside. At Walmart I picked up two copies of Twilight (one for Kesha and one for myself) and thought for one hot minute that I might find the movie Life (Sha-right! They had Friday and Kings of Comedy, why do they refuse to carry this movie... if any of my urban area readers would like to take pity and mail it my way when you come across it, I would love you forever!) but no such luck on that front. Then as I head back out to my car, foaming at the mouth after staring racks of Marlboro Lights in the eye for 10 minutes in the checkout line, the freakin' guy with the hammer is walking around banging on all the handicap signs! Really, WTF??? Did it bitch slap him when he got out of his Pinto or something?

49 Hours...

I'm actually a little surprised I've made it this long and it has been as easy as it has (***knock on wood... please, please, PLEASE don't let it get any harder***). I had the brief thought today I can just go buy ONE prime time (which isn't after all cheating because it's a cigar (I know, I'm full of crap excuses), then immediately had the thought 'Well yeah, but then you'd just have to start all over again'. Progress, no?

Today is also the first day since god knows when that I haven't left my house. That's right, not at all. I have not driven ANYWHERE. Mainly this is for 2 reasons.

• #1 I'm afraid if I leave my house I will be tempted to cheat. I live in a 2 mile radius of 4 gas stations that are screaming my name, waiting for me to fail. (Eerily the gas stations have the same voice as the freaky twins from The Shining... Come and play with us Danny, Danny, come and play with us).
• #2 I will HAVE to go to one of said gas stations whenever I gain the courage to venture out. My car is on E so to get anywhere I will have to pass that temptation first. Here's to hoping I don't come back from that to post a big, fat fail.

24 Hours...

It's official, I've gone 24 entire freaking hours without any nicotine and even more, without being particularly unpleasant to anyone. Of course, I've been afraid to leave my house, therefore haven't SEEN anyone, but that's beside the point. So yeah 24 hours... this should be getting easier right. Mmm, yeah, not so much. Today actually hasn't been bad up until the last two hours or so. Right now I have tremors that feel like little jolts of electricity racing up and down the back of my calves, trying to shock my ass out of bed and down to the nearest gas station. I think it's the utter boredom of the middle of the night. I am soooo a creature of habit, and driving mindlessly in circles for hours a night has been my HABIT for years... now I guess it's time to find a new habit. Hopefully one that won't kill me in the long run and cost me an OBSCENE amount of $$$ in gas. Anuhea suggested sleep... go figure at 2 a.m., sleep... is it possible? Do people really do that before the wee hours of the morning? I think I'm heading toward reading. I'm getting to the good part of an awesome book (A Perfect Evil By Alex Kava for those of you looking for an awesome mystery to read) so that should keep my attention for awhile. I'm also contemplating playing Mario Kart Wii, thinking maybe I can trick myself into thinking I'm actually driving, therefore rid myself of the tremors, which are getting really freakin' old REALLY fast! But I guess I'm going to do SOMETHING because laying here isn't enough. Stay tuned for my eminent failure... whose freakin' idea was this anyway???

16 Hours...

and counting. Yeah, I decided that to quit smoking would be a GREAT way to spend my spring break. I can already feel the determination wavering. This sucks ass! I apologize in advance to all the people I make cry over the next few days... if I make it that long.